12 Things YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE Dating a Transguy (FTM)
Here are some things you should know before dating or getting friendly with a trans* guy.
1. Dating us does not make you gay! : Unless you're a guy, of course! But ladies, if you're attracted to men, fancying a trans guy doesn't suddenly change your sexuality. It means you're seeing them for the man that they are. And that you love and accept them for their true self.
2. It really isn't the "Best of Both Worlds" ! :A lot of people think this...but; Nope! I've heard some girls say a trans man would be the perfect man because they can relate to women. Regardless of our bodies, in our heads we've never been female. If only I understood women as much as people may think I do! Then I would probably make a better boyfriend.
3. We're not ALL into girls : Some trans guys are into guys, or both. Some people struggle with this one but the thing to remember is your sexual orientation is a totally separate thing from your gender. It's pretty simple, really! Just trust me on that.
4. We don't all have surgery: Our bodies change on testosterone treatment to become more masculine. Sometimes that's enough for a trans man to feel comfortable and surgery isn't necessary. Just depends on the individual.
5. We don't all take Testosterone: Someone could be in the process of waiting to get on testosterone, or have their own reasons not to be on it. Sure, that makes a difference physically but it doesn't make them any less of a guy!
6. Sex isn't scary or impossible: It's understandable to feel nervous before your first time with a trans guy... but then again it's nerve-wracking with anyone for the first time! Everyone likes different things in the bedroom, regardless of being trans or not. Communication is key.
7. Don't be ashamed for being who you are : If we're open about being trans, there's no reason for you to hide it either. Obviously I don't mean you need to shout it from the rooftops... but we want someone who supports our transition, not someone who is embarrassed of it.
8. We all have insecurities : Going through the wrong puberty would give anyone certain body hangups. But then again, we all have our insecurities. It's good to be open and honest with one another about what triggers them.
9. There are different kinds of bottom surgery: Most people know about the phalloplasty - where a skin graft is used to create a penis. Many people are unaware that the clitoris grows into a small penis on testosterone, and there is a surgery that works to enhance what you have naturally, called the metoidioplasty. And there are different variations of both! Not everyone chooses to get bottom surgery though.
10. We're Not " Just Trans*" : Being trans is just one small part of who we are. There are so many other aspects that are more important - our personalities, interests, sense of humour... first and foremost, we are human!
11. We have a sense of humor : I am really comfortable with myself as a guy, so I often joke about my transition with my girlfriend and friends. I'm always camping it up and am not afraid to be feminine! I can't speak for everyone but I can tell you that being with a trans guy isn't all about walking on egg shells. Some are more shy then others, you just need to talk and be open with your guy.
12. We are pretty boring, really : Yeah, we aren't anything exotic... being with a trans guy is really just like being with any guy. We are all different in our own way. We are all, simply, men.
